THE CONNECTION I’VE CRAVED
Our Marketing Coordinator, Jenn Rahner, was one of the Intensive teachers at last month’s Touch & Play gathering here at Earthdance, and she shares some reflections on her time there and how it connects her to Earthdance, the community, and the Land:
Touch & Play is not just a huge part of my Earthdance story, it marked the start of it.
I’d moved to western Massachusetts in early 2023, and spent the next year and a half settling in. I always forget how difficult it is to move to a brand new place; in addition to the unpacking there’s finding new providers for everything from healthcare to haircare, and in between all that you’re trying to discover your places, you know, the place you like for pizza or bagels. On top of that, both my partner and myself had to establish our practices from scratch, too, so that meant a great deal of networking. He’s a therapist, and I’m a sexologist.
As I found my way around the Pioneer Valley and beyond, finding my people, I kept hearing about Earthdance here and there. I’d looked at the website at least a few times but I was unfamiliar with contact improv, so nothing tempted me to engage in a workshop. Nothing, that is, until I found out about Touch & Play. A fellow sexuality professional told me I really must attend, even as she had a difficult time telling me what it was all about. I trusted her, so I took the leap and attended in July 2024.
From nearly the moment I pulled onto the property, I fell in love - and that didn’t have very much to do with Touch & Play at all. Earthdance - the land it sits on, the people who are attracted there to live in community - there is something about it, something that makes you want to keep coming back again, and again. So when I saw the poster calling for a part-time Marketing Coordinator, I couldn’t help but apply. No, it’s not my current career, but it was a previous one, and those of us that work for ourselves know we often have to piece our income together using all the skills we possess. I was thrilled to be offered and accept the position just about a year ago to the date because it gives me very good reason to visit frequently.
Fast forward to earlier this year, and I took a leap and applied to teach at the recent Touch & Play, themed Essence & Edge. While I teach on a number of sexuality and relationship topics, my time thus far as part of Earthdance’s staff inspired me to reach into my somatics experience and craft a workshop that I thought would appeal to the kind of person who is drawn to Touch & Play Massachusetts - someone who is curious about the inherent sensuality of bodies moving together and what happens when you allow yourself to follow your desire.
To be clear, I’m absolutely aware that in most CI spaces we should not follow those urges. I don’t see this as much different from matching our behavior to the situation in the many public spheres we all move in. ‘Read the room’ is sage advice in most situations; better yet, follow whatever guidelines are provided in the spaces you frequent. In the sex-positive spaces where I often find myself, consent is taught early and often, and practiced. I’m not attempting to make a case for bringing sexuality into other CI venues; what I am saying is that Touch & Play creates a really wonderful container for that kind of exploration for those who are intrigued.
Although I’m newer to both the Earthdance and Touch & Play communities, it was easy to see that the organizer, Murry, attracted a very special group of individuals for the team. People who have been in these communities far longer than I have, and I felt honored to be included among them. Together, we created a magical space that allowed participants to feel held in their exploration, grief, joy, fear, and in their dance.
Recalling when my friend first mentioned Touch & Play to me, and how she had trouble describing the experience, I have to chuckle. It is rather hard to describe! But I’d like to leave you with some snippets of what I witnessed and experienced this year. I hope it will urge those of you curious about attending, but haven’t yet found the courage, to join us next year.
Participating in a grief ritual that honored the land and our ancestors, and provided permission to dig deep inside ourselves to express emotions we may not have yet acknowledged to even ourselves. The sight of intensive participants being guided through the garden, blindfolded, to experience the land with their senses. A blindfolded movement exercise accompanied by live piano where participants were invited to express their desires without fear of being judged, inspired by themes of control and surrender and what it means to them. Laughter - so much laughter - during free time when impromptu play fighting, sunbathing, and dancing in a thunderstorm ensued. Impromptu hugs and cuddles oozing love and care. One participant having their expressed wish come true when other participants planned behind the scenes to make it happen - and their gratitude at the healing it brought them. A gong and violin sound bath that helped me release some stagnant emotion I’ve been holding onto like a security blanket. A final morning ecstatic dance party where the air was charged with all of the emotions we were feeling as this time was ending, melancholy and sweet.
I was moved to write on our final morning. Have you ever had that feeling where you feel like the words are writing you rather than the other way around, pouring out so fast you can barely make your pen keep up? That’s how I wrote this piece that I’ll leave with you as an ending..
How do you go back To your every day?
When your nerves have been scraped raw The wounds lovingly tended over and over and over again with each energetic connection
Your well emptied completely Then filled up again to overflowing Flowing out and out and out Soothing your aching heart
How do you settle back into monotony?
You don’t. |